So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
