if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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