haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
