New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
