if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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