yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize