we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
This is my gift to your gina
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
