So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
