K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
