My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
