It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
