We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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