So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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