I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
