why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's never too late to be topless.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
