True but thats because hes a fetus.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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