I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
