Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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