at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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