I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
