Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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