dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
