Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Everclear isn't food dammit
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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