I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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