I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
