is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
