I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize