Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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