I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
