I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize