wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
