I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize