discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize