i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
