You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
