i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
