Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Duck Duck Cougar?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
