I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
