when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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