last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize