sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's never too late to be topless.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
