What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i think my mom watched the whole time
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Randomize
