3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
