He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
how does that bad decision feel?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
