idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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