I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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