Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I CAN MOONWALK!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
