I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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