Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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