Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize