hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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