My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
it glows. i had to have it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
