Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
