You're so nebulous sometimes
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
