singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize