so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
