Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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