im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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