haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
