it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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