I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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