why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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