and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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