Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She said her name was "party"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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