If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
