my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
