you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
