I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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