he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
