pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
