Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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