Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize