and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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