Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
