What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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