How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
