i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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