He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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