Moan for me like Helen Keller
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
