I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
