I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
