I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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