So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize