just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
