belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
its not stalking. its research.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize