I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize